Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Letter to My Little Twilight Sisters - Why I Keep Picking on Twilight

What heartbroken Twilight Fans are still saying about 'robsten'.

This post actually applies to most Twihards of all ages. I was originally trying to directly respond to some young girls in here.

I'm going to insert this little blurb here, because maybe it fits in here the most. This is one of the main reasons why I can see 'what's wrong with Twilight' (I actually have a few of them, but maybe some of you can relate to this one):

When I was in Junior High growing up the the Midwest, I happened to have a wonderful English Teacher who taught me a lesson so well one time; that it took me years to write in the POV of First Person again for awhile, afterwards...

Her name was Mrs. Nelson and she was about as geeky-looking, twig of an 'English Major' as they come - complete with semi-goofy hairdo and black, plastic glasses.

But, she was also obviously very intelligent, and I actually paid attention in her classes - probably because I've always loved writing, but she was also good at inspiring  us to write.

She gave us an assignment one day... Write the first chapter of a story in whatever POV you want to. I even remember the class ahead of time - going through each POV and the pros & cons of each one.

She WARNED us about using 1st person POV for two reasons - 1) Apparently, most kids naturally want to write in 1st person POV, and she was trying to get us to 'think outside of the box'; and 2) because - and she TOLD us this:

"It's harder than you think to write 1st person POV well, because it's EASY to leave 'so much of yourself' in the story - instead of actually writing a storyline and/or developing characters."

She even mentioned something about 'how dangerous' that kind of writing can be for readers - although I don't remember the details she told us surrounding that - not that I can't guess them, now.

Like I said, *I* love writing, and I always have... So, even though it was homework, I was excited about the assignment and whipped out (what I thought to be) the absolutely best thing I had ever written - in 1st person POV, of course. I know, real original. ;)

Funny thing is, I don't even remember my supposedly brilliant story, anymore, ha!

So, I handed it in and expected to get the usual "A" along with an encouraging note along the lines of, "Keep up the good work!"

But, NO - I got a "C" on it!!

I was dumbstruck and couldn't believe it for awhile. There HAD to be some mistake.

It bothered me so much during class, that after it was over - I went up to her and asked her why she gave me a C. I NEEDED an explanation.

She looked me square in the eye and said to me, "I told you it was harder to write in 1st person than you think. Too much of 'you' is in there..."

Frankly, after her comment, I blushed beet red (I blush easy) - and wondered 'what she had seen' of me in it.

Yeah... I shied away from writing in First Person for the LONGEST time after that. ;)

I KNOW so many of you TwiLadies out there ARE Librarians and English Teachers (my Aunt Bertha is one of them - bless her heart, you do NOT see her support on this blog, ha!) who condoned and excused this story from the beginning - because it 'gets kids to read'.

But really... Do you think all these distracting, painful obsessions and Hollywood bashing has been worth it for them in the end?

Especially when you KNOW... This story COULD (and should) have been published responsibly and in a far less harmful way on young, developing minds.

As far as you young girls go... Those of you who WERE NOT DEBUNKED by The Twilight Saga after they were all published, SEE these characters DIFFERENTLY than we older ladies do.

You KNOW Bella and ALL the characters WELL and you LOVE them, dearly. Yes, I've been around to your message boards, too. They OFTEN have MUCH more thoughtful content surrounding ALL of the characters, BECAUSE THAT's what YOU were interested in - the characters and the STORY. And alot of you didn't know about Vampires yet and these irresponsible companies were COUNTING ON THAT. Basically, they USED you because you were young and you weren't supposed to know any better...

I've gotten a few emails from some of you braver monster-girls about how I should just leave Twilight alone because I can't possibly understand what its like to be a teenage girl. Phooey! We older girls have got your number - if that wasn't true, Stephenie Meyer would not have been able to tap into your blooming souls so easily; and she and I are not that far apart in age. (Dang, I even kind of look like her, huh? UGH! (I may go blond, ha!)

Believe it or not, it really isn't that hard for us older-than-you women to remember what it "feels like" to be a teenager - jeez, it was just yesterday, I'm sure of it!

It is both a miserable & magical time in your life - and an incredibly special one that will pass and never come again. It doesn't seem like it, but time flies fast and its precious - and unfortunately, it will seem like that to you someday, too.

Its not that I don't think you "can't handle" reading the Twilight Saga as young girls; or that I don't think you're all smarter than this. After all, I was reading all those thick, "historical romantic novels" for women when I was 12 - and I loved them, and I fell in love with every hunky hero in them (I was kinda weird though, I usually fell for the sidekick of the hero, ha!). And look how sane I turned out!

Twilight does put a whole bunch of silly, romantic ideals in your brain that have no meaning, however. Not that "meaning" in everything is necessarily important; but when you're reading things like Twilight at the age you are - especially when it is a story that is specifically designed to target your age bracket & gender - it should really be something a little more realistic since your tender brains are developing along those lines.

Because "realistic" is hard and fascinating enough to deal with (as demonstrated by this Kristen/Robert breakup whirlwind). And stories like Twilight are supposed to be an escape from real life, not an alternative place where we live in our minds. And for such a "romantic" story that has the capacity to torch our hearts as Twilight has - it is a story that you will never forget as you grow up and you'll possibly always hold it dear, no matter what.

Fake storylines are commonplace out here in the real adult world; but we should all be able to read and/or watch a beautiful story like Twilight without being so incredibly disappointed in the end - I mean, disappointed to the point where you literally "feel" like you have a broken heart; not just "unhappy with the ending". There's a difference.

One wastes your time unless it had some sort of meaning beyond the relationship; the other is just irritating for awhile.

My disappointment isn't so much in the silly storyline, as much as it is in the fact that grown women seemed to be no older than you are in maturity when it came down to the integrity of this story.

If you can stand to imagine it for a moment... What if Stephenie Meyer had killed off Edward or Jacob in Breaking Dawn - Unthinkable! But that's pretty much what she did to those of us who are so familiar with Vampire stories - it has no bloody, beating heart!

What if she had done something like taken the Kardashians, given them all bad acne and dressed them up like Bella? You wouldn't have recognized them!

Stephenie Meyer made Twilight's Vampires APPEAR to be actual Vampires for awhile - and THEN there is the dysfunctional twist with venom, and you don't realize that there is anything wrong with it, at first. I BELIEVED these were REAL-make-believe Vampires when I started getting into Twilight (didn't we all?) - YEAH, despite the sparkles! I ASSUMED that they were somehow EXPLAINED somewhere... And then there was no explanation for Edward not being able to read Bella's mind; and then there was this long, winding storyline with Jacob that didn't really seem to apply to anything, either...

Wouldn't you really have liked to have seen Bella changed into a REAL-make-believe Vampire, and maybe go on a few adventures first before she & Edward had Renesmee - or do Bella & Edward really even NEED to have a baby, do you think? Aren't you at all curious about what a "real make-believe" Vampire romance might have been like"?

You little monster-goddesses deserved a really cool make-believe fairytale to romp & play in - and so did our beloved Twilight characters, as far as I'm concerned. If you want to be mad at me for that, Ok. :)

By the way, you don't have to make a decision about any of this if you don't want to... You're welcome to pop on over to the much more funner place where all of us Twilight fans explore alternative Breaking Dawn endings and alternative Twilight Universes.

I would LOVE to know what kinds of things are going on in your ripe little minds about these beautiful Twilight characters. Twilight doesn't have to end, just because Stephenie Meyer stopped typing on it years ago!


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